It’s a tough time for libraries, and people in customer service. And while we don’t want to veer into any toxic positivity, it is good to spend a little time focused on building your happiness level. We are not going to solve people’s serious mental issues here. But bringing some happiness skills to your week can be helpful to everyone!
Mondays can be a little hard, even when things are going fine. Use this small injection of a happiness skill to your week. We are here to support you, and to help you to be a little happier in the library.
You are valuable and important. We like you, and want you to build happiness and to feel positive about yourself. Using some self-compassion may be the strategy to make that happen.
Check out the excerpt from the article How To Practice Self-Compassion And Build A Stable Sense Of Confidence
“With self-compassion, you’ll think, I’m going to try because I care about myself and I don’t want to suffer. That kind of motivation “leads to more self-confidence,” Neff says. When you can sit with your pain and think through what you might need to achieve your goal—like waking up earlier for runs or scheduling them on your phone calendar—instead of spiraling over all the ways you’re failing, you’ll overcome challenges, building confidence and belief in yourself as you go. It’s a subtle change in reaction, but it makes a huge difference. “Self-compassion gives you a stable source of self-competence, as opposed to a ‘sugar high,’” Neff says.
We tend to think of self-compassion as passive, even unproductive (“If I’m easy on myself, I’ll become complacent”). But that could not be further from the truth. There are two sides to self-compassion, Neff says. The tender side embodies the idea that although you are innately flawed, you are still worthy. And the fierce side says if you truly care about yourself, you accept yourself but don’t accept all of your behaviors, especially harmful ones. “Part of caring for yourself means taking active steps to change,” says Neff. That’s where the power of self-compassion comes in.
But none of this is easy. We tend to be waaay nicer to others than we are to ourselves—and we’re quick to judge our shortcomings and failures. The good news is this is a trainable skill. “It’s a muscle you can build,” says Neff.
These three methods create a deeper understanding of self-compassion and will help you feel your best today and for years to come. Motivation, a better mood, and, yep, alllll the feel-good feelings, right this way…
1. Ask Yourself: What Do I Need?
This is the question that guides the whole self-compassion cultivation agenda, says Germer. Say you missed a deadline and are being hard on yourself about it. Instead of spiraling into negative self-talk, figure out what you need—a few more hours of childcare, writing daily to-do lists—to problem-solve. This inquiry (part of the fierce side of self-compassion) provides resources and tools for change, eventually generating self-confidence as you’re able to learn and grow.
2. Put a Hand on Your Heart
Touching your heart or your cheek “is probably the most widely used, simple, and physiologically transformative experience toward self-compassion,” says Germer. (You’re likely already doing it—when you receive bad news, you may instinctively put your hand on your heart!) This self-touch lowers cortisol levels, according to German research. Also, when you rub your chest, specifically, you may activate your vagus nerve, the main nerve of your parasympathetic (or “rest and digest”) system, Germer says.
3. Figure Out When You Just *Don’t* Have It in You
Pinpoint times when you lack self-compassion, says Pooja Lakshmin, MD, the author of the forthcoming book Real Self-Care. Do you get in your head when you see an email from a certain coworker, or does negative self-talk bubble up every time you and your partner fight? Homing in on self-kindness in these moments can push you toward the type of change you’re looking for.”
You can read the whole article here.
CMLE can be part of your support network; we are here for you, and support you in your library work. Take a nice deep breath in, and whoosh it out; it’s going to be okay today.
