Episode 10-09: Romance and Romance-Adjacent Programs

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Welcome to Season Ten of Linking Our Libraries! We are so happy to have you join us again! This is the Central Minnesota Libraries Exchange, and our members are all types of libraries and their staff. I’m Mary, the director. It’s so good to have you here also. In this podcast, we talk about the skills library staff need to be successful and to help them to serve their communities.

This season we are talking about library programs – giving you some ideas about different ideas you can try in your own library. It is always good to share ideas across libraries, and we are all better! Each week we will look at a different theme of programs.

This week we are feeling a little mushy from the effects of Valentine’s Day! Of course, we do not limit ourselves to some forced idea of romance – how dull. Instead we take the expansive definition of relationships and love and happiness! We love libraries and books so much; but other readers and library people are also pretty great. So this week, let’s look at some programs you may want to try in your library to build some relationships in the library.

Friend Speed Dating

You could, of course, do a traditional speed dating. But that’s a lot of pressure to put on the event, and on your patrons. So it might be good to have a focus on a friend speed dating! It’s hard to find people to be your friends after you become an adult. If you are already at the library, you have some things in common already – fantastic!

The blog Ontarian Librarian set up a friend speed dating in her library. 

“I hear from 20/30s all the time that they struggle to find new friends in the area. It’s hard to leave university behind – where there are countless opportunities to meet people – and join the working world. While many are finding each other on Meetup.com or other library programs, I thought it would be helpful to dedicate an entire program to intentionally getting to know new people.

  • I set up the room with 2 long rows of rectangular tables, with 9 chairs on either side to  create seating for up to 36 attendees (participants were matched with whoever sat across from them)
  • Little origami boxes filled with fun icebreaking questions (which is the worst sport, which planet would you most like to rule, what was your childhood dream job?) were spread out on the tables.
  • Bowls of pink and white mints on the tables
  • Projector at the front of the room with a 2 minute timer video
  • Name tag stickers and sharpies by the door
  • Coffee and tea at the side
  • Card making materials on tables at the back
  • Arrows at each spot indicating where each participant would move next after the 2 minute round
  • A gold star at one spot to mark which participant would not move at all (this is to ensure that everyone matches with everyone).

(I’m not really sure why there was a card making station; but it seems like it was popular with some of the participants! Probably having a craft would provide an activity for the new friends to get to know each other a little bit more.)

The Windsor Public Library had a similar program, and they call it their Speed Friending event. “Have you recently left the college or university scene, recently moved to the area or are just looking for new pals? We know it can sometimes be challenging to meet new people and WPL wants to make it easier for you with Speed Friending!  It’s a fun way to form new connections with other local 20-30 somethings.

You’ll enjoy light refreshments while you spend the time getting to know your potential new pals in 5-7 minute lightning segments.

We had a blast at our last Speed Friending event in the spring and look forward to making many more matches this time around.

The event will take place in the Living Room at Central Library on Wednesday, November 22 from 7:00-8:30 p.m.

Feel free to come solo or in a group but please make sure to register as spots are filling up fast.”

Napoleon Public Library hosted an event that was organized a little more casually:  

Sign up suggested but not required. There will be games and questions to lead you to a pair or group of friends. Snacks and drinks provided. (age groups: Teens, adults)

Durham County PL tried this program also. “Let’s face it, making friends as an adult can be a difficult process – let the library help you out! Join us for Friend Speed Dating, a non-romantic version of speed dating that allows you to meet potential friends in a low pressure environment. There will be light refreshments, music in the background (no awkward silences here) and some time to play games at the end! This program is geared for patrons in their 20s and 30s. However, all are welcome!”

Sewickley Public Library focused their event on the possibility of more typical dating. “We Invite You to Check Out More than Just Books

Library lovers! Looking for a romance in real life, not just between the pages? Find love among the stacks at our first ever SPEED DATING event!

Modern romance is complicated. Dating apps offer the possibility of instant connections, but these connections are often all too short lived. Bars and clubs aren’t an accessible option for people who prefer conversation over loud music and crowds.

Library Lovers Speed Dating is the needed alternative: An opportunity to meet other singles from the area in a comfortable, relaxed environment. No flashing lights, no blaring soundtrack, just good people and good conversations.

Meet fellow book lovers, make new friends or even a coffee date, while enjoying light refreshments .Open to all, ages 18+. Registration required.”

Blind Date with a Book

“The basic premise of Blind Date with a Book is to wrap up books and allow your patrons to “blindly” check them out. This standard approach is simple and effective, but you can tweak the program in numerous ways for a fresh spin.

  • Give your book a brief bio, as if it was writing about itself on a dating site.
  • Try a spin on “love at first sight” and cut a peek-a-boo in your wrapping to give a glimpse of the cover, or have an artistic person doodle their version of a cover onto the wrapping.
  • Let your book’s first line do the talking and put it on the wrapped cover. You can market this as “love at first line” or get a little cheeky and ask if these books’ “one-liners” can get them checked out!
  • Choose a few adjectives that describe the book and write them across the wrapping.
  • Go for an “if you liked __, you may like ____” approach, and write titles of similar books, movies or shows across the wrapping”

“A piece of advice (that I learned the hard way) – before you wrap the books make sure to get the barcode information off the book so that you can add it to the outside of the wrapped book so students get the pleasure of unwrapping them at their leisure. This year, I printed the barcodes off and glued them to the front of the book. In years past, I have written the barcode number on the front.”

“Once students are done reading their book, they fill out a Rate Your Date slip that tells what they thought of the book, what they liked the most, their rating out of 5 stars, would they recommend the book to a friend, etc.” The slips are collected, and a random name is drawn to win a small prize!

Florida Atlantic University library did a low-contact system, instead of people going thru the books in the library: “The FAU Libraries are ready to help you find love this Valentine’s Day! We have 22 eligible books that are looking for dates. All of the books are from different genres, and each tell a different story. Below you’ll find descriptions of the books to help you get acquainted and see if one piques your interest.

Did you find a book that could be a perfect match? Fill out the request form here.”

The Seymour Library took a cool twist here, and added in other formats than paper. “This year we will keep broadening your “dating pool” with a selection of ebooks and audiobooks!  The Blind Date with a Book Program is using Hoopla to connect you with librarian-curated titles that you may have passed by.  

For our virtual version, click the blind date number (Blind Date #1 or Blind Date #2, etc.) or the links following their first line, which will take you to the Hoopla check-out screen. Take a chance! If you don’t like it, move on. But you may find a new true love!”

Romance Book Groups

Romance is the most-read genre! Anyone who has been in a library for even a short time should know this. One of the great things about romance books is that they have happy endings. (This also leads the genre to be taken less seriously by those who insist that their books have sufficient angst and suffering.) Romance books are expanding to be written by many more people, and to include all kinds of people and romance – and as a result it’s so much more interesting and fun!

We have talked about a lot of romance books in our book group podcast: Reading With Libraries.

So many libraries have these books that it’s going to be really easy to find all sorts of examples, should you want some inspiration! A surprising number of them are hosting virtual meetings – so handy for people who want to attend, but are bogged down with work or family or other responsibilities! Here are just a few:

  • Springfield (MA) library Join us for the Romance Book Club! We read as many romance genres as we can, sharing our thoughts and expanding our romance reading experience. As long as it has a Happily Ever After, it’s fair game.
  • The Stillwater library has a more traditional romance group: Our newest book club is for all things romance! All ages, genders, and reading interests are welcome. For exact dates and themes for meetings, look in the event calendar. To check out what the club has read and enjoyed in the past, browse our book lists here.
  • Escondido Public Library Join us at Between the Covers Romance Book Club to meet other romance readers in the community, chat about your favorite romances, and discuss the month’s reading selection. Romance Book Club is limited to ages 18 and up. New members always welcome! We currently meet in the Library Board Room and over Zoom
  • Monrovia Public Library. This group is for fans of all things romance, from historical to paranormal and everything in between. Bring your lunch if you like, and discuss the next swoon-worthy book club pick.
  • The Austin PL has a virtual romance group “Join us to discuss romance novels, classic romances, Young Adult romance and more!”

And because it’s always good to laugh at absolute idiocy, I want to take a moment to absolutely fall on the floor laughing at the the Enid, OK Public Library Board, who so desperately want to keep books out of the hands of readers. Good luck with that, guys. A library’s canceled romance book club calls attention to growing censorship “”On its surface, the policy, written by board chair Joseph Fletcher, is very general. It states that library programs and exhibits should be “non-partisan” and “will not make as their object the study of sex, sexual activity, sexual perversion, sex-based classifications, sexual preferences, sexual identity, gender identity, or subjects that are of a sexual nature.”” So the romance book group was canceled. As was the program for sexual assault survivors. And Mothers and Fathers day were on the chopping block. 

I totally applaud the library director and staff for clearly implementing the wording of this completely ridiculous policy. Sure – he and his little minions were trying to be hateful and get rid of LGBTQIA materials (and people, presumably); but that’s just not possible. You can’t wipe out a segment of society without affecting everything. I can’t tell if this policy is still in effect, but as of the day this episode is recorded the ding dong is still on the Board. So, that’s pretty sad for the town of Enid. (I’ve been there, and it was a very nice place. I had a fantastic steak!)

Books Read

Now, let’s get to the part of every episode that is everyone’s favorite: sharing books! We will link to these books on our shownotes pages, and the link will take you to Amazon. 

  • The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo, by Taylor Jenkins Reid Aging and reclusive Hollywood movie icon Evelyn Hugo is finally ready to tell the truth about her glamorous and scandalous life. But when she chooses unknown magazine reporter Monique Grant for the job, no one is more astounded than Monique herself. Why her? Why now?

Monique is not exactly on top of the world. Her husband has left her, and her professional life is going nowhere. Regardless of why Evelyn has selected her to write her biography, Monique is determined to use this opportunity to jumpstart her career.

Summoned to Evelyn’s luxurious apartment, Monique listens in fascination as the actress tells her story. From making her way to Los Angeles in the 1950s to her decision to leave show business in the ‘80s, and, of course, the seven husbands along the way, Evelyn unspools a tale of ruthless ambition, unexpected friendship, and a great forbidden love. Monique begins to feel a very real connection to the legendary star, but as Evelyn’s story near its conclusion, it becomes clear that her life intersects with Monique’s own in tragic and irreversible ways.

  • Over My Dead Body, by Rex Stout  When a Balkan beauty gets in trouble over some missing diamonds, whom else can she turn to but the world-famous Nero Wolfe?  Especially since she claims to be Wolfe’s long lost daughter!  The stakes are suddenly raised when a student at this woman’s fencing school ends up dead after a pointed lesson.  As Wolfe and his sidekick, Archie, thrust and parry into a tangle of documents, identities and international intrigue, another student body turns up, expertly skewered through the heart.  Is Wolfe’s long lost daughter the black sheep of the family, a hot-blooded mistress of murder?

Conclusion

This was a quick overview of a few ideas that you might want to use in your library. Be sure to check out the show notes for links to everything discussed today. We are looking forward to chatting with you all season! We will have more ideas to help you keep your library running well, and strategies to help you serve your community.

And if you want to hear more book suggestions, be sure you are also subscribed to our other podcast: Reading With Libraries. Short episodes drop every Tuesday, and we look at different aspects of Minnesota. This season we look at a different historic site across the state each week, and then suggest six books that reference the site. Join us each week!