CMLE is a multitype system, so we have all kinds of different libraries in focus, in size, and in communities served. But, as with so many things, the similarities we have are much larger and more significant than these surface differences.

And you can really see that when you think about things you say all the time in your library! This is a blog entry from awfullibrarybooks.net, with statements made in one library. Hopefully you guys do not say all of these on a regular basis; but I’m guessing that many of them will sound familiar!

(It’s almost always a bad idea to read comments – but in this case they are also funny, so click on this article to read through them as well!)

 

“No, I am not hiding the tax forms. They haven’t come in yet.”

“Yes, you must wear shoes, shirt and pants in the library.”

“What do you mean someone found a butcher knife in the toilet?”

“Yes, when there is an ‘out of order’ sign on the printer, it means it is NOT working.”

“I’m sorry, I can’t call another patron and tell them to ‘hurry up and finish’ their book so you can have your turn.”

“What is that smell?”

“No, I don’t know President Obama personally and cannot get him on the phone about your tax refund.”

“Email is not pushing a piece of paper into the disk drive.”

“No, I don’t know your password for email.”

“Guess what I found inside this book?”

“We have no plans to train kids on how to mug people. Our ‘Mug Me’ program is about decorating a coffee mug.”

“Someone better check on Porn Guy.”

“We can get you images of PAINTINGS of Jesus, but there are no PHOTOGRAPHS of Jesus.”

“It’s your turn to move the dead deer in the parking lot.”

“I know you paid a lot in 1986 for your chemistry text, but I am sorry we won’t be able to use it in the collection.”

“No, I don’t need to look at the rash on your chest.”

“Sexkitten1994 is not a good choice for an email when you are applying for a job. How about we make another one?”

“I am going to need the gloves and bleach again.”

“I’m sorry, we don’t have a special summer reading program for the gifted.”

“I’m so sorry you misunderstood that Boogie Nights is a movie not appropriate for children. It is our policy not to comment on patron choices.”

“I’m sorry you are sad, but it is not appropriate for us to put a warning label on a book if the main character dies.”

“No, I am sorry, the library staff cannot watch your baby while you run to Walmart.”

“Is that blood?”

“I guess I am the ‘Head Bitch in Charge’. What can I help you with?